Oct 23 daddys little princess

this didnt get posted somehow...oh well

Daddys Little Princesss

When I was little I was use to dress up in my nicest dress, put on make up and run around the house. In a way I guess most girls did but I never dreamed about the boyfriend saving me when I was 5. It was my dad. Every time I'd get in trouble I would pray my daddy would come save me. We would be rich, and mom would be so happy dad was back all would be forgotten and daddy would read stories to me and Bryan as we drifted to sleep as mom made cookies in the kitchen.

Even as I write I tear up as I know that will never happen. Not only is daddy gone, but the person across the hall that got me in trouble in the first place is too. I cry often. I try not to let people see because Im suppose to be the strong one. Im suppose to keep everyone together. Instead of my childhood fantasy I get my stepdad only trying because he wants to keep my mom in his life. I just want to tell him he can stop trying, because I know his motivation.  He doesn't want to get  to know me. He only wants my mom to stay with him. Dont get me wrong I would love a dad, but I want one who wants me. I understand God giving us free will in that aspect. He wants us to be choose him freely not be bound because were forced to.

I know it sounds crazy but i still dream every night that i come out my room in a pink tutu and have my daddy sitting there treating me the way my stepdad treats my stepsister. Just to have someone look at me that way would be the most amazing thing in the world. Instead I get a stepdad that prob thanks God that I avoid him. I hate getting close to him then feeling the rejection. Im sick of the heartbreak and I dont need another heartbreak. For now hes staying where he is until something happens that I can trust him. I dont know what that is yet, but it has to come from him cause I dont want it to be for